Wall of confusion

My oh my, a wall of confusion today bought on by lack of sleep, too much sugar, too much activity, I don't know what - too many beers ?

I've stretched myself so thin without enough planning, spinning like mad.

It's set to continue for a while, tommorrow I need to get packed, get some of my stuff over to friends, do a rekkie to Woking to check out a B&B and then get up at 5.30am to get to the office and after a long day, over to the new place I'll be staying at, assuming it's ok.

I signed up with a 3G phone contract - a moment of madness I suspect, geek gadget desire.
I'm now with Vodafone and am sporting a shiny new Nokia 6680 - this phone has all the bells and whistles, including a highly dangerous 3G internet connection option, which can also work as a modem for my laptop.

Why is it dangerous ?

Simple really, at £1.25 a meg the potential to eat up cash is massive, so I need to exercise extreme caution. Bottom line, text only surfing and very minimal surfing and email.

Luckily, the B&B I'm moving to has internet access, so the phone connection won't be required that often. I just tried it now via the laptop and it works well - too damn well.

Added to my confusion is the fact that my DVD drive on my laptop packed in after I tried to install the Nokia connection software - bam, it no longer will read any disks. I have no idea whether it was the nokia disc or just a general failure. I also don't know how to fix it - maybe a CD disk cleaner will work ?
Maybe new firmware ?
I don't know. All I do know is that the laptop set me back £700 - it's under guarantee, so I now have to make time to get into London to take it to the shop I got it from.
That will require me to back up all my data and wipe the disk drive - but how can I back up the data without a DVD drive ?

I really don't know.

It's at times like this when I miss the relative simplicity of a stable home to live in.
Lord only knows when that will happen.

At least I'm working.

At this stage, the money I have left will last just enough to get me to pay day and I'm still not sure where my next job will be or when.

Doing the math, I have enough money to pay for accommodation, food and transport for the next 3 weeks and that's it. If my pay doesn't arrive on time, I'm screwed.

In addition, my backup plan of selling the laptop to survive is now screwed, because the DVD drive is bust.

Nasty, very nasty.

Taking the laptop back to where I got it will require them to send it away for repairs or whatever, which will most likely take at least 2 weeks.

An external DVD drive is going to set me back too much cash.

Damn Damn Damn, I'm just too overloaded with info, I feel like a hard drive that hasn't been defragged for years.

What to do ?

I have to move to Woking, it's essential for my sanity. Commuting 5 hours a day is going to do some serious damage to my planning.

My big hope is to land that good permanent job starting ASAP - I should make at least £1500 from the two week contract job, which will see me through till the end of Jan, however, there's not much chance of being able to get my own spot until Feb if I do land a job. For a reasonable pad, the initial outlay is going to be £1000. Expenses for a month will be in the order of £500.

Time to tighten the belt buckle a notch further, get down to work and live in the cheap seats for the next few weeks.

The contract job was perfectly timed to be honest, if I had waited another week or so, I would've been in dire straits.

I now realise exactly how laid back and relaxed I've been for so many years and how much complete freedom I had - but there is a cost for that freedom, a lack of security and a comfort zone bordering on being in a rut.

I don't regret my decision as I'm really experiencing things in a big way. I also don't miss Joburg yet, two months on. I just miss family and friends and the freedom of more spare time than was good for me.

My 2 month short term plan is to get my own pad - a place I can walk into and sing, cook, throw my stuff around, shout, talk to myself.

The long term plan is to further the career with an aim for an Australian move in a year or two.

The even longer term plan is to form another business, buy a small cottage/flat/bedsit near the coast hopefully with the whole family around.

If New Media is to be my continuing career, I have a LOT of catching up to do, I've coasted for a few years. By now, I should either be a programmer or a 3D artist. Instead, I sit between the two positions of web designer and web developer.

The method to my madness of going contract or permanent is to get thrown right in the deep end, sink or swim. That is the ONLY way I seem to be able to pick up new skills.

Left to my own devices I flit from idea to idea without ever completing anything.

I need deadlines, hectic deadlines. "You don't do it, you don't get paid" deadlines.

Wall of confusion.