Musings and plannings

I'm already getting that damn "itch" about being stable again, the need to get out and about, after only two weeks in Odiham.

Too damn bad, I'm here for at least 6 months, so I best get settled in.

I'm made two sets of tentative "settling in" plans.

The first is a contact with a rather expensive guitar tutor, 5 miles from here, in Farnham.
Howard Johnstone is the tutor (here he is)
I had a quick chat with him yesterday, indicating my eagerness to get back into guitar and also to gig again, lets hope it works out for me.

The second contact works along with that and is rather odd. Although I can drive, I've decided to take a few lessons - it's called a "refresher course" and is something that I feel I need.
I could easily get into a car and start driving, but I've always been somewhat of a nervous driver, never really enjoying it much. Driving in the UK and South Africa are entirely different beasts.
This is the land of narrow lanes, large complicated roundabouts and lots of parallel parking. South Africa, on the other hand, is the land of wide roads, insane drivers and lots of parking.
I learnt to drive in that environment.

I'm the type of driver that is just too hyper-aware, to my detriment. I get so involved with watching what goes on around me, it makes me more prone to make mistakes. I tend to watch for the wrong things. Don't get me wrong, on a scale of 1 to 10, I'm about a 6, which makes me above average. The problem is my imagination gets the better of me. I really do feel like I'm hurtling along in a tin can, one step away from being mashed in a pile of metal at any given time. Hmmm, I suppose that's a reasonably healthy way of looking at it.

My weak points I'm aware of, my tendency to want to shift into the left lane while observing everything around me except for that "blind spot", however, my reactions are quick and effective, which has saved me from certain death a few times.

I'm also not that good at parking. Hey, I can reverse well enough, I just can't park that well, so that sets me apart from the cliched "woman driver" syndrome.

As a side note, statistics from insurance agencies have proven that women are better drivers than men. I feel the need to defend males here for a moment and say that women are just better at lying. There, now I feel better.

God, it sounds like I'm the crappest driver in the world. Oh well. From what I've seen, I'll be in my elephant over here in the UK, this being the land of stupid drivers, rather than mad reckless and stupid ones in unroadworthy cars, pissed out of their minds.

So, und zo, and so, hmmm, and here I sit in The George, a drunken sparrows fart flight to my front door, simply to get out of the house on a rainy Sunday afternoon and have a pint. If truth be told, also to have a smoke while enjoying a pint, as I don't smoke in my apartment. I have to go outside to smoke - an enforced regime which I will never change.

I stopped smoking about 4 years ago and started again about 2 months back. Stupid.
I'm now a reluctant smoker who enjoys it very much, but need to pack it in (excuse the pun) real soon. I can't bring myself to smoke normal cigarettes and so I've been smoking rollups.

There's a story behind that which I don't mind getting into and it involves skunk and a bit of hash, which I've sinced kicked in for good.

I've smoked the old herbal ciggie for the better part of twenty years and smoked the stupid cigarette for about the same amount of time.

I gave up smoking before a dental operation and what aided me in this was wacky weed.
It allowed me to still imbibe in the smoking ritual, while giving up the addiction to tobbaco.

The ol' 'erb in South Africa, or Dagga as it is known, is as cheap as chips, so smoking it "raw" is an option.

Over here in blighty, it's so damn expensive and also so bloody strong, that mixing it with tobacco is essential. So it was that an aquaintance was a big doob smoker and thus, so it was that I obtained on a few occassions, some super skunk/hash from this smoker.

It was no great suprise that I soon got hooked on tobacco again. This was cemented by a month in a shared household of smokers.

The herbal smokes are a thing of the past as I've realised they really are not helping my mental state and never have. In fact, they don't help anyones mental state. I've been "two" people for damn years and never realised it until now. Now new evidence linking dope to schizophrenia is all but fact, there's no reason to continue to punish myself.

I've never been easy with the herb and from what I've read, very few people actually are. The escape from reality has always been accompanied by discomfort around people and sometimes downright paranoia.

So, yeah, another pint please barman !

... crazy talk ...